13 Dec 2023

The unofficial NZ Rugby awards for 2023

5:02 pm on 13 December 2023
Beauden Barrett, Joe Biden, Dane Coles, Ben O'Keeffe

Beauden Barrett, Joe Biden, Dane Coles, Ben O'Keeffe Photo: Getty

Analysis - New Zealand Rugby hands out its awards on Thursday night, so congratulations in advance to the winners. However, like our Bottom 10 Moments last week, it's important to recognise things that NZR don't have time to put on their run sheet. Here are the Unofficial NZ Rugby Awards for 2023, have a look at last year's 'winners' here:

Bombed try of the year - Beauden Barrett

April Fool's Day was the apt date for this clanger, with the two-time World Rugby Player of the Year inexplicably getting tackled over the dead ball line in a 20-13 Blues loss to the Chiefs.

Quote of the year - United States President Joe Biden

Biden got more than a little confused earlier in the year, referring to the All Blacks as the 'Black and Tans' during a speech. If you're not familiar with what that term means, it's not great, but even worse was that Biden had completely forgotten the time the All Blacks gifted him his own special jersey.

US Vice President Joe Biden (C) receives a personalised All Black rugby jersey from players Jerome Kaino (R) and Charlie Faumuina (L) during his visit to Auckland on July 21, 2016. Biden joked he was ready to play for the All Blacks as players from the world champion rugby side met with him during his visit.

US Vice President Joe Biden (C) receives a personalised All Black rugby jersey from players Jerome Kaino (R) and Charlie Faumuina (L) during his visit to Auckland on July 21, 2016. Biden joked he was ready to play for the All Blacks as players from the world champion rugby side met with him during his visit. Photo: CHRIS MCKEEN

Stephen Donald Kick of the Year Award - Sam Cane

Let's face it, after the All Blacks' very impressive 41-12 win over Argentina in Mendoza, Cane was doing something we've all definitely thought about many times when it comes to pitch invaders: cutting them in half with a well-placed kick. It turned out the roundhouse recipient was a teenage boy, something that made the often-hilarious PR clean up job afterwards just that much harder.

Insult of the year - Rugby World Cup food situation

Media covering the All Blacks in France were not only served awful food during games, but also forced to pay inflated prices for it.

Best food - Forsyth Barr Stadium, WXV 1

Back home though, things couldn't have been more different. Fresh sundried tomato pasta, salad and garlic bread in abundance as well as a well-stocked fridge for the media covering the Black Ferns. NZ Rugby has copped a bit of grief this season, but this feed pretty much made up for it all.

Biggest battle - Setting up the post-match fence

Forget the action on the field in the Crusaders' 15-3 win over the Blues in May. The real contest came after the final whistle when a staff member from the home side spent far, far too long trying to figure out how a pig tail post works while in the background of Sky's post-match interviews.

Keep trying mate

Keep trying mate Photo: Sky Sport

Best fan engagement - NPC/Heartland Mascot Race

Provincial rugby needed something big and while the healthy crowd at the NPC final between Taranaki and Hawke's Bay was a good start, the real shot in the arm was the now iconic mascot race at halftime. Highlights included Wellington's Leo the Lion exacting a violent retribution on the Hawke's Bay Magpie, the Whanganui Butcher and Auckland Potato going at it and a win to an unfancied battler, the Thames Valley Swamp Fox.

Best press conference - Dane Coles, London

Steve Hansen's brief dalliance with the Wallabies just before the World Cup brought out an all-time reaction from All Black stalwart Coles, whose expressions of shock and disbelief went viral within hours of him uttering them. Coles is now finished with the All Blacks and will be missed greatly, not least for his ability to hold court during media engagements.

Worst press conference - Eddie Jones, Melbourne

Not that the post-match session after the All Blacks' 34-7 win over the Wallabies in Melbourne wasn't at times interesting, more because it just seemed to take all night because Jones didn't want to leave before having a crack at literally everyone in the room.

Wallabies head coach Eddie Jones

Wallabies head coach Eddie Jones Photo: PHOTOSPORT

Best fans - O'Keeffamanics are runnin' wild

Much has been made about the sort of feedback referees have been getting on social media lately, but not all of it has been abuse. In keeping with the theme of Ben O'Keeffe's many, many pictures of himself that he posts on Instagram, NZ's top ref included the works of couple of artists that had done impressive portraits of him.

Fan art of referee Ben O'Keeffe

Fan art of referee Ben O'Keeffe Photo: Instagram

Worst contribution to a scandal - "It might be plaster"

Yes, because plaster from the broken Ranfurly Shield would totally arrange itself into a couple of nice little bumps next to a rolled-up note.

An image was shared with what appears to be a white powder on the Ranfurly Shield.

Photo: Supplied to RNZ