It's easy to burn out amidst the collective stress of a pandemic, says Rebekah Ballagh.
The Nelson-based counsellor and writer posts daily mental health tips on her hugely popular Instagram account journey to wellness and has just published an illustrated book about grief - Words of Comfort.
Rebekah Ballagh Photo: Supplied
The pandemic-fuelled stress of the last two years has added another layer to mental health challenges, Ballagh tells Kathryn Ryan.
Amidst the uncertainty, it's easy to fall into coping strategies that aren't so helpful, such as scrolling your phone, bingeing Netflix.
While we do need the distraction of a funny TV show or a walk in nature sometimes, it's also helpful to challenge yourself to sit with your feelings, Ballagh says.
If you're struggling with grief or worry, setting aside a set time every day where you allow yourself to worry or grieve intentionally can be helpful.
"If [the feeling] comes up earlier, instead of resisting it… because what we resist, persists… we acknowledge it and press pause on it, and focus on the present.
"Then you've carved out a space for it so you know in the day when it is popping up you will come back and honour it… but you're able to pivot away from it when it's distracting and becoming un-useful in the day."
When it comes to the appointed time - which could be after dinner when the kids are in bed - make yourself comfortable and maybe light a candle and get your thoughts out by writing in a journal.
If feelings of grief are making you feel threatened and panicky, you need to help your body feel safe again by calming the nervous system, Ballagh says.
When she was struck with grief herself last year, she sometimes felt like she was panicking but challenged herself to sit with the discomfort.
"I say [to myself] 'Grief is here right now. I'm experiencing this feeling and that's okay. That makes sense that it's visiting me given what I've been through."
The concept of 'closure' is not useful in relation to grief, she says, and it's more realistic to work on acceptance.
"Instead of the grief being all-consuming with very sharp edges, we work to have our life grow around it… The edges wear down over time and there may be meaning or beauty even. That's the place we try to get to with it."
Where to get help:
1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor
Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
Samaritans - 0800 726 666
Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
thelowdown.co.nz - or email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626
Anxiety New Zealand - 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)
Supporting Families in Mental Illness - 0800 732 825
