11 Jan 2023

What Spare means for Prince Harry and the royals?

From Summer Times, 9:25 am on 11 January 2023

Prince Harry's highly anticipated memoir Spare has been officially released overnight.

It's the fastest selling non-fiction book ever. On the day of publication 400,000 copies in Britain were sold.

The book is a stunning break with royal protocol and is making headlines around the world.

With Prince Harry’s details of family feuds, adolescent rebellion and the inner workings of the royal family Spare is making sure that the royal dirty washing continues to get aired.

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Photo: Screenshot

People have been “agog” at the level of detail in Harry’s memoir Royal commentator Victoria Arbiter told Summer Times.

“There's personal deeply personal details such as the tale of him losing his virginity, his experiments with drugs, trying to contact his dead mother via medium – all deeply personal information.”

Arbiter sees two major themes in the book.

“Number one is that after railing for years against invasions of his own privacy, he seems quite willing to share very personal, intimate information about members of his family without their permission, which strikes me as something of a double standard.

“But I suppose on a more profound level is this recurring theme of grief, which pretty much covers every page of the book.”

Harry seems to be riven with unresolved trauma over his mother’s death, she says.

“He talks about keeping a box next to his bed with a lock of her hair, of driving through the tunnel in Paris at the same speed that she was driving on the night that she was killed.

“And also, his belief until into his early 20s, that she was actually still alive, that perhaps she faked her death and that she was going to come back for him and William, so you'd have to have a heart of stone to not feel some compassion for him.”

The book has likely fractured relations in the family and Arbiter doesn’t anticipate a reconciliation any time soon.

“The primary reason being that all the trust has been obliterated. If the Royals were to write a letter or phone or try to arrange a visit, how could they be sure that that information wasn't going to be passed on to a friendly journalist, or used in yet another docuseries or another book or another interview, it is very, very difficult to try and mend bridges when you can't trust the person that you are trying to heal alongside.”

The physical distance between the Sussex’s and the Royal family further complicates matters, she says.

“They live almost 6000 miles apart. And the type of conversations that need to happen between family members can't really happen on Facetime, aside from the fact that it's another connection that's not secure.

“It's just not conducive to being able to share your point of view, I feel like you need to get William, Harry and Charles in a room where they can hash it all out, throw plates with each other, scream, yell, hug, cry, express their love for each other, whatever it needs to be.”

Any chance of a thaw in relations is also up against the clock, she says.

“Between now and the coronation we have four months. If these conversations are going to be had, they need to be had sooner rather than later.

Because the king is only going to become more busy the closer it gets to the coronation.”

Whether Harry and Meghan attend is another matter, she says.

“We have to remember that King Charles, he's not just charged with protecting the institution of Monarchy, he's a father and I think he will want to avoid any accusations of being vindictive or petty.

“I think he is keen to reconcile; it's his son and historically, they have shared a close relationship.

“So, I think he absolutely will extend an invitation to the Sussex’s. But they will face numerous accusations if they go.”

Media pressure is likely to pile on the Sussex’s if they attend, she says.

“I think the press will say to them, you have trashed the monarchy, you've trashed your family, you've trashed everything associated to everything that surrounds this institution. And yet, here you are. Well, why are you here? Is it because you need to be further sprinkled with the royal fairy dust?

“Is it because you're here genuinely to be a part of the king's special day? It's arguably one of the most important days of his life.

“Are you here in support? You know, and what capacity are you attending?”

Harry was furiously critical of the media in Spare, she says.

“He doesn't separate the paparazzi from the legitimate media, he sees everyone as culpable for his mother's death, for the poor relationship between him and his family.

Britain's King Charles III, Princess Anne, Princess Royal, Prince William, Prince of Wales, and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, stand outside Westminster Abbey after the State Funeral Service in London on September 19, 2022.

Britain's King Charles III, Princess Anne, Princess Royal, Prince William, Prince of Wales, and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, stand outside Westminster Abbey after the State Funeral Service in London on September 19, 2022. Photo: Hannah McKay / POOL / AFP

In the Netflix docuseries, he even went so far as to blame the Daily Mail for his wife's miscarriage. As far as Harry is concerned, the media is responsible for everything that has gone wrong in his life.

“And when you go back to that 12-year-old little boy being told his mother died, you can understand why.”

However, his hatred for the media has clouded his understanding of how the media and ecosystem works, she says. The Palace is not constantly tipping off royal reporters as Harry claims in Spared.

“Reporters on the royal beat in the UK have said, they longed to just sit at their desks and have someone call them from Buckingham Palace and say, ‘Hey, I've got a story for you’, it just doesn't work like that. They're working their sources.”

Harry is also aware that he is feeding the media best with this book, she says.

“Harry has ignited I suppose even more interest in his life. He even admits that he knows doing this book, he is feeding the beast.

“And I think he's going to hope that now he’s said his piece, there's nothing else for anyone to say, they're going to go away.

“But the next story is going to be when Harry and Megan do go to the United Kingdom. The media is going to be all over it. It's going to be an absolute circus.”